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December 6, 2013
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Dreams and Truths by sibber-chow Dreams and Truths by sibber-chow
This semester in college is winding down, finally.  Final exams and projects will be complete for me December 13th.  Hopefully, this will open up some more time for me to focus on personal artworks as well as trades, collabs, etc.  Between overtime at work and school, I have had zero time or want to do such things, much to my disdain.    Since I have posted so little recently, since I could not sleep, and since the state in which I work has declared a state of emergency due to winter storms (meaning no work for me) I thought I would get something posted for you guys.  So, over the next few hours, I will be slowly rolling out all of my art projects I've done for school this year in between studying for exams.  I only had one studio, so it really isn't that many pieces, likely to your inbox's fortune.

A little about this piece/assignment:
This assignment was to use image from our childhood to recreate our dream or nightmare childhood.  I took... a different approach than most.  I decided to use my childhood wants and convert them into a more current manifestation in my mind.

Top image:
When I was really young I was very, very, very Christian.  I thought I had faith all figured out - to the extent that I would go around and tell people that I was ready to die (which startled and concerned my parents, my dad worried it was premonition that I was going to, in fact, die young) so that I could be with Jesus in heaven.  However, over the last three or so years... faith and spirituality have been a struggle for me.  I don't always know where to look or if I have things figured out.  I found an old sketchpad filled with these notes and struggles, that is where the text came from in this image.

Middle image:
I struggled with depressive episodes as early as elementary school.  I would get upset and didn't know how to cope and would wind up writing notes in my journals like the one featured; I just wanted to be left alone with the hope that that would somehow solve all my angst.  In my current state, I'm diagnosed bipolar, and still struggle with depression rather often; I have also recently bought a house, as is shown in the image as well.  Living on my own in conjunction with all the losses of friends and family, all the changes I have had over the past downward spiral of the past three or so years... sometimes lets me feel that loneliness that I wished for.  I hate to tell my elementary school self but... it doesn't get easier being alone.  It is just a different type of pain.  (Please note, this is not to say that everything/every moment of my life is bad currently or even then - it is just ups and a lot of downs and an unstable emotional disorder that I am working/trying to get in balance.)

Bottom image:
My brother and I have always been very close, even though we had our times of bickering when we were young as all siblings do.  As such, he is a role model of mine, was then... is now.  But, last Valentines Day he wrote me a beautiful note on a card, an excerpt of which is features on the above image, where he declared that he looked up to me.  It made me cry in a content way.  I still and likely always will look up to him, but it was touching to have him say the same...

Anyhow... I placed a watermark on this one to keep people from stealing since I don't generally sign work I do for school.  I don't really know why I don't... but, heh.

Tools used:
Family and Original photographs/scans
Adobe Photoshop CS6

Enjoy!
Don't steal.
Things of that sort!
xxx <3
:iconmerrimus:
Merrimus Dec 6, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Looking at this and reading the meaning behind these images brought up from within me quite a lot of emotions. I am not how to best describe them, as I don't fully understand them myself. It started out as an ache, a little crack, a shatter, then just a warmth, a bittersweet sadness. 

I thank you for sharing this, naturally, even if I cannot put into words how such makes me feel. 
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